The Shoe was Right: Follow the swoosh and just do it


Cagayan de Oro was, for me, the most successful. It was almost perfect--work-wise, that is. It pays a lot when you have a team of hardworking, efficient and driven people to work with. None of them might be able to chance upon this blog but I feel that honoring and thanks are appropriate here. I can also say that Joey and Pauline were in their best elements during the CDO leg than the ones in Quezon and Ormoc. We’ll see about the final leg in Iloilo.

I'm back here in Manila where I have to face yet another Reality TV show that stars me. I have been in limbo for weeks now; working as hard as I could everyday so I could juggle my day job, writing assignments and Our House. There's just too much on my mind these days that I find myself spacing out a lot and I'm becoming forgetful. Just a few seconds before that last sentence, I dropped my pencil and I bent down to pick it up. Now, I don't remember what I was supposed to say before this! Labo no?

I need all the extra income I could get to cover all the bills I'm willing myself to settle before I resign by January next year. I have been trying to save up but somehow all the extra money I set aside has to cover some miscellaneous expense that comes up unexpectedly. When I think about it, I get really scared of the future. What if I never get to save enough? What if I never get to earn enough?

Of course, the only answer is to think outside the box. Funny, in my Phil Star article two Saturdays ago, I talked about the need for kids to think creatively, to live outside that box. In a perfect world, anything you set your heart on and do with all the fervor you could muster, will successfully work out. Of course it’s easier if you're a kid.

I started earning my own money when I was eight, peddling the local delicacy palitaw in my neighborhood. I have put up my own little store in front of our house where I sold candies and toys that my grandmother and I would buy wholesale from Divisoria. Mama would make gulaman and sago and I'd sell it for a peso a cup. I also rented out Tagalog comics for 2.50 if you’d take it overnight and a peso if you'd read it in my stall. I used the money I earned to buy all the Merit notebooks I could ever want at Gerliz's, the neighborhood bookstore. My business ventures varied from selling food, tutoring kids, and writing book reports for lazy students (bad, I know, but business is business).

Believe me, I was the richest and youngest entrepreneur about seventeen years ago.

But now? Nothing seems to work anymore--insert a girly whine here.

I am so disheartened by the way my plans have been turning out. When I was in CDO, I texted Vlad about how frustrating it is when your plans don't work out the way you want them to. You want to pursue your craft, your art and you try to turn it upside down so it would work well for you money-wise, but it doesn't. It just doesn't. And sometimes, your passion and love of what you do aren't enough. If this is the case, what, then, will ever be enough?

Oh but knowing myself, I don't give up.

I'll just work harder. Must market, must sell, must sell, and must sell. I wish I had my eight year old heart when I believed that everything was attainable, so possible. It's ironic how the "product" I am trying to sell now is calling out to kids to dream big, think outside the box…

Just this morning, one grade school principal said 'no' saying they're too busy, there's Foundation day, teachers' day, Star Scouts day, and it's going to be Blah Day for me. Oh but that's just one school in a thousand schools in the city, right?

The only thing that buoys me is the thought that I've done this so many times before and I know it can be done, only that I am on my own now.

"As the season of believing seems to wind down let me gently remind you that many dreams still wait in the wings. Many authentic sparks must be fanned before passion performs her perfect work in you. Throw another log on the fire."

- Sarah Ban Breathnach