Im going to Palawan tomorrow to help shoot another video documentary. It's going to be a heavy week of field work but I'm excited to be traveling on my own again. I'm looking forward to waiting for my boarding time at the airport, sitting by the lounge, coffee, uhm but no, i don't intend to have a pre-departure smoke. I do not want to stink in the plane aside from the fact that I have been two weeks nicotine free! Ok, ok. There was that one stick when I was trying to write that darn script.

Dreamt about an ex some nights ago. This man would haunt me, consume me and kill me over and over. I don't care. I can now conquer him--something I wasn't able to do when he left.

***

I wrote this for the Philippine Literature site. My editor-friend asked me to submit something on gender lit so there.

coming home

with the two of us naked, standing bare
on this cold, tiled floor
face to face,
chests heaving, our nipples taut and firm—
i kiss your closed eyes
and my tongue traces wherever your tears flow:

somewhere in the planes of your mind,
a memory flickers; a memory of opening doors,
of entering rooms, opening doors again
and then finally closing them.

you raise your hands, my palms on yours
the countries of your skin welcoming me,
a stranger discovering, finding her way home.

let me look at you now, tonight:

your hair's no longer tangled seaweeds shored
that speak of mermaids drowning, of lost ships,
of sinking bodies crying in gulps of air;

your eyes, your eyes are two black moons
rising full, rising full;

let me look at you now, tonight.

let me taste milk flowing down your thighs,
vanilla on your skin--let me in, let me in

as i look at you now,
oh let me look at you now, tonight,
let me cradle your sadness
with my hands and then wash them away;
let my mouth bathe every scab, every scar
on each fold of your skin.

let me look at you now, tonight:
let me take you--wife, child, lover--
let me take you home.